Date Diaries Episode 1: You're Feet Need to Relax!

So this is "episode 1" of date diaries. Now to give a little preface and introduction, not all of these stories I will post are mine (I will probably not claim any of mine).  They are all true (as far as I know), however I may have changed some names for the sake of confidentiality, karma swinging around, or to save the embarrassment of others.  I am now "accepting" good or bad stories so feel free to message me on face book if you have one to share.  Now, if you're feeling up to an interesting story about a date experience feel free to enjoy, learn, or beware.

"You're Feet Need to Relax!"

Freshman year of college you could definitely say I was still trying to figure out how to get asked out on dates.  For a Mormon girl, I was convinced that the religion Institute on campus was the place to go, and to be fair, I was right.  I definitely did get dates, and here is the story of one of them.
Every Monday and Wednesday morning in class there were only two piano players that would volunteer to play an "opening hymn" to start of the class, which included one seemingly very reserved return missionary and myself.  On the very last day of class the seemingly reserved young man randomly started a conversation with me and at the last minute asked me out on a date and got my phone number.  I didn't see why not so I consented and the next weekend he picked me up.  This young man, Kyle (real name changed), surprisingly agreed to pick me up a hour away from where we were to meet the rest of our date group, and so I was preparing for an uncomfortable date and a long drive with a quite guy I hardly knew.  This turned out to be the exact opposite.  Kyle was very amusing and chatted up the entire drive. Once we got with the rest of the group he was actually even a really humorous guy.  I quite honestly enjoyed my time, and laughed, A LOT.   So, at this point why not go on a second date?  Well, I didn't have to wait long to find out.
At some point during the first date we talked about my interest in learning how to play the organ, and agreed that he could give me some free lessons.  For our second date, we decided to go out to dinner and then have a lesson on playing the organ.
I met up with Kyle down in Salt Lake City and we drove to a local Subway (pretty acceptable for a casual second date) and he decided that we would share a 6-inch sub. He also picked out everything that was going to be on it all the while saying "Sorry, I'm just not super hungry right now I hope you don't mind this."  Well I sort of did mind, but didn't really know if I should argue it.  He was paying for my half of a 6-inch sandwich, and I never picked up on any cue that I should have paid my own way.  However, I don't like banana peppers or extra lettuce on any sandwich, so you can imagine I felt pretty awkward picking it off of a 3 inch mini sub that only had pepperoni, some balsamic vinegar dressing, and ham on it.  Did I also mention this was right after a full work day around 5pm and I had not eaten anything since breakfast?
Anyways, after the small dinner event we went to his ward building to use the organ in the chapel.  I learned a couple things instantly: You have to remove your shoes before playing on the foot pedals, and I can't play legato (smoothly) under unnecessary stress.  If you can imagine those movies where they show a scene of a bunch of orphans in the 19th or early 20th century being instructed by an intimidating, strict, and demanding teacher, well Kyle was the teacher, I felt like the hopeless orphan.   I don't mind criticism, but Kyle took it over the top.  "You have horrible posture", "Why can't you keep your hands in the correct positions I told you", "How many times do I have to tell you? Play legato, you're not in a southern baptist concert."
I was definitely stressing out and done for the day after 20 minutes.  A few minutes later at some point he started to realize he was being kind of harsh.... or that I was stressed out.  He asked me to flip around on the bench, and then he took one of my feet..... and started massaging it.  I told him that wasn't necessary, but he insisted that I need to relax, that "my feet" needed to relax (Ironically in a strict tone). Needless to say, I got really weirded out. I finally "gracefully" yanked my foot away and said it was probably about time for me to go home.
So Kyle took me back to my car, I stopped at a Dairy Queen, stuffed my face with fries because I was starving, and figured I was done with Kyle.
Aftermath:  
Although I agreed not to continue to go out with Kyle, Kyle didn't necessarily agree.  He called me every Sunday evening to ask me out for the following Friday, and again on Monday for that Saturday.  Fortunately I had legitimate excuses for the first MONTH, but after I had to tell him on a couple different occasions that I was no longer interested.  After a couple more phone calls of persistence, one Monday afternoon call on my way home from school with a friend, my guy friend grabbed the phone and "politely" asked him to stop.  I was relieved.  For the most part, despite a couple of awkward greetings years later (one being a random call for a "dating" survey, and another at the pharmacy desk while picking up personal prescriptions) it was over with.

New ideas

So I need to get back to blogging again.   I forgot how great of a outlet it is.  However I need some subjects to write/blog about.   I was thinking food.... but I don't have the patience to record what I do with my food experiments.... so if you want to see my food I cook you can follow me on instagram @ashfreeze.   Otherwise check out my favorite sister in law's blog lmld.org (Like mother like daughter) she's got some great delicious looking stuff.  I have another blog for photography stuff that I don't update as much anyway, but one day I will.  So that narrows it down.
One idea I came up with with a friend was date stories.  I will probably definitely do this.   I'm married now, and dating felt like a awhile ago to me, however I technically still date....MY HUSBAND, but I can collect stories from others as well as past ones from myself, change some names, create the narrative, and whala! Instant juicy entertainment.

Second Idea is just sharing stories in general.
Third I might post some craft stuff if I get bored
Fourth- College problems
Fifth- Young married problems
Sixth- I continue to blabbler about random topics, or a combination of above.

For my 5 followers and whoever might see this.  Let me know if you have any ideas.
Love
yours truly
Ash

Happy Easter and to the bunnies as well.

Happy Easter Everyone!

There are a lot of reasons I love this holiday, however I must admit I do not like the commercial side.  Bunnies, eggs, flowers, carrots, & baby chicks are all cute and related to spring but what do they really have to do with Easter.  As a kid, I’m sure finding mystery eggs my parents hid in my backyard was fun, probably more fun than sitting in church all day.  But sometimes I feel like it gets way too blown out.  It has become to a lot of people like a rather than having Santa come bring gifts, it’s some bunny (Easter Bunny) that gives us treats and joy.  Maybe I’m a little uneducated on the subject, but from different types of accounts Santa has some historical Christian tradition and story behind it, and the only thing I can find comparable with an Easter bunny would be Christ.  I don’t personally feel comfortable comparing Christ to a bunny; I find it a bit irreverent.   We celebrate Easter because of one of the greatest miracles that has happened on earth (according to Christians).  In a matter of a few hours and the years preceding them Jesus Christ our Savior literally saved our lives, atoned for our sins, left this undying charity that will be remembered not only to those that believe in him, but in those who seek to learn any type of worldly history ever known.  There is not recorded a more giving, honorable, loving, heroic, charitable, sacrificing, and resurrected individual.  As remarkable and as an extraordinary savior as Christ, how is it that we can comparable his immeasurable grace to a bunny, in which I believe he created that bunny.  I get the whole spring association, and it’s fun especially for kids argument, but is it wrong for me to truly question why all the eggs, bunnies, and baby chicks are justly necessary.  If they are, why can they not be more related in some form to the true meaning of why we celebrate Easter?  Don’t get me wrong, I love decorating eggs, hiding them for little ones that are anxious for them, and I’m a sucker for all the candy that goes on sale. But it’s just a thought, and much of a wish that we could more heavily define the meanings behind all these traditions.  

Have a Happy and Psychotic Halloween

OH we are odd…. So very odd. 

When I was in 8th grade Spanish class I learned of a holiday in Mexico called “Dia de Los Muertos” (translation:  Day of the Dead).  Our teacher showed us pictures and told us about some of the traditions that happen in this holiday such as people go visit and show respect for lost loved ones in the cemetery by bringing flowers, having food celebrations, and decorating the streets with colorful skeletons and other representative decoration of the deceased.    Naturally as a bunch of 8^th graders we kind of poked fun, thought it was weird that they “celebrated” their dead. 

Being of Hispanic decent I remember that day going home and asking my mom more about the holiday, she explained to me it typically had more to do with the Catholic culture (which is the predominant culture there) but it was more like Memorial Day.  Of course here in America we don’t typically throw as big or elaborate of a celebration for our deceased loved ones and those past who have served us, other than have the day off for a barbeque.

Coincidentally Dia de Los Muertos falls relatively close to Halloween.  Considering that Halloween may have a relative root from the traditional Mexican holiday, Dia de Los Muertos has a clear purpose, which I have difficulty in seeing what purpose Halloween has. 

If you are driving north on I-15 in Salt Lake City and about 6^th South on the right there is a demon-ish figure dangling a couple of presumably fake people representing an obviously terrifying experience and in the same proximity there are graffiti paintings on a creepy old mill depicting 666 and other disturbing material with fake gory detailing.  Passing this same scene while on my home with my best friend, he made an interesting and amusing comment.  Imagine you came to this country without any prior knowledge to what Halloween is about. Now, imagine what your impression would be to see the advertised scene like the one described above.  I personally would find it very odd to see a demon on the side of the freeway dangling an innocent looking human, if I was a child… I’d probably be pretty disturbed.  One day I would actually like to personally talk to someone who has had this experience to find out what they actually thought.  

Halloween is definitely a unique holiday.  No one who celebrates it seems to know for sure of the actual reason why it is such a big deal around here.  Alright, so you have free candy everywhere, you get to dress up for whatever you’d like to be, and by that you can go to any celebration as someone you’re not.  Some don’t even limit dressing up for just a party, they can go about anywhere as a flapper girl and people think it’s the norm because of Halloween.  For a lot of people, including me at times, we call this fun.  We like the thrill of paying people to scare us, to intentionally watch something that may just give us nightmares or traumatize us from walking around in our basements by ourselves, and we like the excuse to celebrate in this bizarre way.  It comes as a treat to us every year as people prep their haunted houses, corn mazes, pumpkin fields and million dollar movies for months.  Well the trick is, why?

Trick or treat?  Is that what it is all about.  Treats are good, but quite frankly we can get them for almost any holiday Halloween just adding to the list (4^th of July, Easter, Christmas, etc.)  Tricks can be fun, I guess.  You walk into a haunted house and people try to “trick” you into thinking they’re a serial killer.  I want to go deeper than that, though.  Historically I’m sure there is some backing to this unique holiday, but I have some theories on how this “holiday” has escalated so much over time.  In general this world typically goes for bigger, better, and faster and tucks away any sort of decline.  This can be pretty stressful.  So in result we want a release.  Once a year we give ourselves an opportunity to make it socially acceptable to go mad, crazy, and unreal. 

Obviously we don’t typically try to go completely psychotic, it’s not like we use this time to create complete chaos, however we observe it.  Some of us watch gruesome movies where someone’s world is ending, put up eerie decorations in front of our houses to encourage fear in the hearts of children coming to your door, dress our kids up as either monsters or cute bunnies in which any other sense would never dwell together, and go to places where the images, and costumed people might make us embarrassed when we scream, wet ourselves, leave grip marks on friends’ arms, run in fear, cry, etc. 

If we were a complete outsider watching these behaviors emerge and then go away after the end of a month, it would be like watching this psychotic phase where a collective group of people endorse evil scenarios and resort to celebrating an alternate reality of actually desiring to be mentally harmed and having our teeth rot. 

But on the inside; Halloween is normal, many participate, some don’t, it’s kind of whatever to us now.  Collecting this all in my own mind, I laugh at my eighth grade Spanish class that laughed and ridiculed Dia de Los Muertos. At least Dia de Los Muertos has a true purpose a respectable reason to celebrate.  Unlike Halloween who only really proves to be a reason to celebrate unusualness, disobedience to the social norm, being scared, escaping reality, and arbitrary fun.  Yep, us Americans and those that celebrate Halloween…. We are pretty odd.  

Do I believe in Angels

As a favor I am posting this on behalf of someone very dear to me.  Yes it is very much religious as the title suggest, but it personally means something to me.  Hear it out, it's good. 

Do I Believe in Angels?

By Bradley Dean Freeze

Do I believe in Angels

That are here upon this earth?

Are they elderly with hair of gray,

Or arrived here fresh from birth?

Do they all have wings of sparkling white,

With halos like a crown?

Do they stand before us filled with light in a pillar shining down?

Do they all wear tunics white as snow

With brightness like the sun?

Are they loved ones from across the veil

To help us every one?

Do we need them while were here on earth

To help us bear out strain?

I know one went to Gethsemane

To comfort Christ in pain.

We cannot know we cannot tell

Hi pains that day to bear

But the angels saw and in reverence

Bowed and wept while he was there.

At the garden tomb where Christ had laid

Three days in death had slept.

Tow angels spoke to Mary there

While in sadness knelt and wept

When Christ was born in Bethlehem

The shepherds saw them too

They heard the Alleluia’s ring

From angels’ voices true.

How many of life ups and downs

We think we’re born alone

While looking back now humbly

We see what God had done.

Angels come to us from God

And places near and far

To help us in our times of need

We’re God’s children are

Some dress in finer clothing

In suit and tie and vest.

Some come to us in uniform

A badge upon their chest

Some dress in Khaki, olive-drab

Or white or navy blue

They guard us as we sleep at night

Protecting me and you

Other time they’re simple souls

Whose goal is tried and true

To give God’s children peace and hope

An “Angel” could be “you”.  

Makes Sense To Me.

Sometimes I don’t get it: BBT excuse:

Over this Spring LDS general conference weekend I found several statements very profound, and that I might want to just post on my wall somewhere.   Some of these included the words of Elder Uchtdorf in referring to holding grudges, wanting to cause harm, gossiping, and jealousy: “Stop it”. Another statement that I would like to further discuss was one by Elder Nelson in the Sunday morning session.  Elder Nelson reassured and discussed a truth I’ve felt strongly about for a long time now.  Everything on this earth was made very precisely, they start as small as atoms then they reach to other combinations of matter, with its own type of genetic coding, ways that it develops over time, and precise measurements of elements combined together all with the incentive to survive through time and surroundings.  All matter of things has evolved and are evolving over time to their surroundings to become best in their potential.  Basically, everything is so complex in the deeper sense.  How then can this wonderful world and Universe been made by a random accident.  I fail to see the sense of a random sporadic explosion that made all these elements combine and turn into something so precise and functional.  Going back to Elder Nelson’s words he compared this how out of a sporadic detonation a world was made would be like saying if a printing shops exploded it would make a dictionary. 

So someone reading this might think this is an anti-atheist post.  Not necessarily, I just have a thought, a thought that I happen to believe, that when: I get strong feelings of love for my family and friends, the peace I feel on summer night walks, the way I can mentally tell myself when I’m sick to get better and I naturally do, the fact I know that only opposites on magnets attract to each other, and that when I look into a clear night sky the world goes on for infinity.  Tell me then, is there no greater power? No greater power beyond our comprehension of the wonders that this power can produce? Maybe this greater power, God, which might actually care for us every now and then, or always?  What do I know? I’m just a 20 year old girl who just likes to follow a train of thought every so often.  What I do know, is that I find it difficult to believe in a spontaneous coincidence that this “big Bang” happened without any sort of greater power, and everything resulted of it over billions of years wasn’t organized in a manner.  Sure I believe in a God, it’s what makes sense.  

Lo Romantico

?Lo Romantico?

Here is a juicy one for you.  Romance, that’s what I’m going to talk about in this post as a little prep of some things I’m going to write about here in the near future (as soon as I do some research).  However unlike my intention of my future posts, this one is entirely a woman’s bias.   Sorry men, I don’t much and haven’t quite frankly asked much about what you guys think on romance.  Actually I correct myself, this is more my personal bias. 

Romance examples:

1.      Elizabeth coincidently meets the rich man of her dreams at a social gathering of some sort and in the end they get married and everything is just a love boat of happiness.  Of course between meeting and then getting hitched, she goes from hating him and every dramatic thing happens from family problems to finding that he may be promised to another. But it all works out in the end.

2.      Sarah has known her soul mate since childhood but has hidden her feelings for him like a coward and decides not to act on her feelings until he is with another woman.  Through series of comical and embarrassing events, she finally ends up with her soul mate that leaves the other woman empty handed hoping she’ll fall for someone else immediately because of his impulsiveness. Anyways, everyone ends up happy.

3.        Juliet meets her Romeo with your classic love at first site.  Although they know nothing about each other besides the increasing curiosity and obvious attraction, they force each other to meet in secret and elope.  Their families hate each other and soon tragedy strikes.  Therefore the young naïve lovers miraculously die in each other’s arms to escape the consequences of their impetuous actions. 

So, which story if any of them are the most realistic?  Well, there are a lot of women who ask this same kind of question, including myself.  I’ve come to the conclusion that these made up stories had to have come from somewhere, so why can’t they be real?  Obviously maybe not Hollywood style, and not in the same ideal sequence; I personally would prefer not to be engaged and then find my long lost lover and create the complication of falling for him and leaving my fiancé for someone I re-met.  So this brings up another question.  Why do some women actually believe that these romantic stories they see in movies or read in books can and should happen in perfect sequence?  I could understand a fifteen year old girl having a dream that someone with super human like strength with a super FINE body, who perhaps turns into a werewolf or vampire(aka Taylor Lautner or Robert Patinson), may fall in love with them and expect a happily ever after.  In fact for a fifteen year old girl with a crush, that is about normal…. However if you’re at least graduated from high school, I’m sorry sweetie, but that’s not going to be the case (Quit dreaming, Just kidding).

I try to consider myself more of a practical person; therefore a lot of romantic ideas are not a priority to me.  Don’t get me wrong I may day dream of being kissed under mistletoe by an infatuation, random slow dancing in the rain, or a classic dip kiss at the stroke of midnight on New Year’s.  Are these possible? Yes. Unreasonable? No. Going to happen immediately with my dream guy?  Not likely.  But that’s okay.  What I find very disheartening is that there are women out there that expect the kiss (movie make out) in the country rain, a dark romance that will be immortal, love at first sight, or my favorite: The Perfect Man or Mr. Dream-Boat.  As a friend told me once, the perfect man died and was resurrected for our sins a long time ago because we are not and cannot be perfect on our own.  He wants us to find our eternal companion, but some of us need to realize that it’s not going to be all roses and butterflies.  Life happens, and even when you find your eternal companion, marriage is hard (I don’t know personally, it just appears that way and is what I’m told).  Happily ever after is earned in eternity.  The way I like to look at getting to my happy ever after is just finding who is right for you, because if there was a perfect guy out there he’d probably be translated to heaven, so you know, deal with what you got.  Then, working hard as a team to achieve the “happy” and eventually “ever after”. 

Women: As much as chic-flics make for a good girl’s night, comfort movie, or mood setter.  Don’t expect a Hollywood story.  No reason to be discouraged because of it, just understand that Prince Charming won’t be perfect, have a six pack, save world hunger, put you in a mansion with diamonds and jewels, or write you love songs every night; as nice as it may sound.

Men:  You don’t have to be smooth all the time, but taking advice on what girls find “cute”, is not a bad idea….. Ex: six pack (totally joking!), long hugs, compliments, romantic stuff… etc.