Lo Romantico

?Lo Romantico?

Here is a juicy one for you.  Romance, that’s what I’m going to talk about in this post as a little prep of some things I’m going to write about here in the near future (as soon as I do some research).  However unlike my intention of my future posts, this one is entirely a woman’s bias.   Sorry men, I don’t much and haven’t quite frankly asked much about what you guys think on romance.  Actually I correct myself, this is more my personal bias. 

Romance examples:

1.      Elizabeth coincidently meets the rich man of her dreams at a social gathering of some sort and in the end they get married and everything is just a love boat of happiness.  Of course between meeting and then getting hitched, she goes from hating him and every dramatic thing happens from family problems to finding that he may be promised to another. But it all works out in the end.

2.      Sarah has known her soul mate since childhood but has hidden her feelings for him like a coward and decides not to act on her feelings until he is with another woman.  Through series of comical and embarrassing events, she finally ends up with her soul mate that leaves the other woman empty handed hoping she’ll fall for someone else immediately because of his impulsiveness. Anyways, everyone ends up happy.

3.        Juliet meets her Romeo with your classic love at first site.  Although they know nothing about each other besides the increasing curiosity and obvious attraction, they force each other to meet in secret and elope.  Their families hate each other and soon tragedy strikes.  Therefore the young naïve lovers miraculously die in each other’s arms to escape the consequences of their impetuous actions. 

So, which story if any of them are the most realistic?  Well, there are a lot of women who ask this same kind of question, including myself.  I’ve come to the conclusion that these made up stories had to have come from somewhere, so why can’t they be real?  Obviously maybe not Hollywood style, and not in the same ideal sequence; I personally would prefer not to be engaged and then find my long lost lover and create the complication of falling for him and leaving my fiancé for someone I re-met.  So this brings up another question.  Why do some women actually believe that these romantic stories they see in movies or read in books can and should happen in perfect sequence?  I could understand a fifteen year old girl having a dream that someone with super human like strength with a super FINE body, who perhaps turns into a werewolf or vampire(aka Taylor Lautner or Robert Patinson), may fall in love with them and expect a happily ever after.  In fact for a fifteen year old girl with a crush, that is about normal…. However if you’re at least graduated from high school, I’m sorry sweetie, but that’s not going to be the case (Quit dreaming, Just kidding).

I try to consider myself more of a practical person; therefore a lot of romantic ideas are not a priority to me.  Don’t get me wrong I may day dream of being kissed under mistletoe by an infatuation, random slow dancing in the rain, or a classic dip kiss at the stroke of midnight on New Year’s.  Are these possible? Yes. Unreasonable? No. Going to happen immediately with my dream guy?  Not likely.  But that’s okay.  What I find very disheartening is that there are women out there that expect the kiss (movie make out) in the country rain, a dark romance that will be immortal, love at first sight, or my favorite: The Perfect Man or Mr. Dream-Boat.  As a friend told me once, the perfect man died and was resurrected for our sins a long time ago because we are not and cannot be perfect on our own.  He wants us to find our eternal companion, but some of us need to realize that it’s not going to be all roses and butterflies.  Life happens, and even when you find your eternal companion, marriage is hard (I don’t know personally, it just appears that way and is what I’m told).  Happily ever after is earned in eternity.  The way I like to look at getting to my happy ever after is just finding who is right for you, because if there was a perfect guy out there he’d probably be translated to heaven, so you know, deal with what you got.  Then, working hard as a team to achieve the “happy” and eventually “ever after”. 

Women: As much as chic-flics make for a good girl’s night, comfort movie, or mood setter.  Don’t expect a Hollywood story.  No reason to be discouraged because of it, just understand that Prince Charming won’t be perfect, have a six pack, save world hunger, put you in a mansion with diamonds and jewels, or write you love songs every night; as nice as it may sound.

Men:  You don’t have to be smooth all the time, but taking advice on what girls find “cute”, is not a bad idea….. Ex: six pack (totally joking!), long hugs, compliments, romantic stuff… etc.

Grandparents Rock!

A while ago I posted a Facebook status about a conversation I had with my grandma Anita.  Well the basis of the conversation was somewhere along the lines of this:

Grandma: Hi Ashley, I was just calling to check up on you.  How are you? Everything going okay?

Me: (in a somber tone) yeah, things are alright.

Grandma: boyfriend yet?

Me: nope, not yet.  Dating is hard.

Grandma: It shouldn’t be too bad.

Me: Well, I’m not too worried about it. Sometimes it’s discouraging though.

Grandma: Why is that?

Me: Well, too many of my friends are getting married.

Grandma: Well, too many of my friends are dying.  So don’t get yourself down.

Me: (silence)

Grandma: (laughter) it’s okay, one of your cousin’s is going through “all my friends are having babies” and some of your parents’ are “too many of my friends are getting divorced”.  

Me: true……

Grandma: Well I got to run; I’m on my way to visit my friend in the hospital who just had a stroke.  Love you!

Me: Love you too. Bye.

So just like that.  There I was complaining about how my romantic life is slow in comparison to some of my friends who were getting engaged and married so quickly and Grandma comes along with her sensible fact that her friends are beginning to kick the bucket. Like parents and good friends, sometimes grandparents are there to put you back in your place.  From personal experience, I believe I need a lot of that in my life sometimes. 

But that isn’t the only reason why grandparents rock.  Of course you have the love and caring that many of us are well familiar with.  This particular grandma as mentioned above, is one of the most loving people I know, she has practically adopted a few of my friends as her own grandchildren. Every time she comes to visit she brings along a bag full of treats for me to share with her adopted grandchildren.

 A group of us decided to go down to St. George to visit Zions National Park and a hang out in the beautiful community down south.  My Grandma and my grandpa showed great amounts of hospitality to my friends which was further enforced by a mountain high pile of chocolate chip cookies lying on the counter one night after a long day of fun.  Before we arrived back home from this very fun trip, there was the whole towel incident, where my grandma almost became offended because some of my friends brought their own bath towels so that my grandma wouldn’t have to do as much laundry, when she had plenty for everyone to use.

On my dad’s other side there is my papa Ed. He is pretty awesome.  I remember when he came down for my high school graduation a couple weeks early, he offered to “pop” one of my school counselors for making my missing graduation requirement difficult for me to take care of.  I know he was kidding, but at the time, I really appreciated the thought/comment.  Every now and then he calls to check up on me too; each time it means a lot to know he is all the way in Oklahoma and is still thinking about my brothers and I. 

Now my mom’s and my step dad’s side is a little bit of a different story.  Yes, they are still loving and caring, but in a slightly different way.  My Abuelita Ysmari from Mexico always brings me little pieces of gold jewelry that I get to keep forever.   I remember back when I was able to have a “quinceanera” for my fifteenth birthday.  As a gift my grandma brought me a gold chain bracelet that had “ash” and the number “15” engraved on it.  I’m pretty sure I didn’t take that chain off for at least a year and a half.  Little things like that and an occasional phone call where I get to practice my Spanish (and she tells me another story about a superstition she has), reminds me of her love although I don’t get to see her often.

Now on my step dad’s side, my grandma Carol and grandad Tony, they are good people.  Grandma Carol gives me wise advice on how to marry rich, and what is going to create security in my future.  She still encourages me to date rich and men in the medical field.  I can tell she is looking after me.  Both she and Tony have also been known to help tip me off on how to convince my step dad of certain privileges.  The last time and probably the luckiest time I’ve taken their advice, was when I was about sixteen and I got to go stay with them in Hawaii.  There in Hawaii they made amazing meals for me and one of my friends Emi, and took us to see some pretty cool stuff.  Since my mom married their son, they have been so good at making me feel like part of their family. It’s great. 

I could argue I have the best family ever, but I have to remind myself that I am certainly at an unfair advantage to have almost double the grandparents.  It pretty much rocks; I’m not going to lie.  I continue to get life advice and special privileges that I don’t often get at home as much with my parents.   Don’t get me wrong, my parents are pretty awesome people too, and are some of my heroes, but there is nothing like grandparents…. Nothing!